A new Moslim clothing store opened in a Mall here. You could buy Abaya, Hijab, Shawl, Al-Amira Hijab, Scarves, Arabian Thobes / Khaleji Abayas and so on.............but they threw me out when I asked to see some Bomber jackets?

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the
word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

How DiD my Dawg git in this Race ??????

Wow, or woW tahts amasing.

Thanks John I needed a good laugh.

I find myself between levels 4 and 5, hoping to skip 6, and getting too close to 7

To Pee or Not to Pee




I have a job.

I work, they pay me.

I pay my taxes & the government
Distributes my taxes as it sees fit.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case,
I am required to pass a random urine test
(with which I have no problem).


What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes
To people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question:
Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check
Because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their BUTT ----doing drugs while I work.


Can you imagine how much money each state would save
If people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

Something has to change in this country - AND SOON!


P.S. Just a thought, all politicians should have to pass a urine test too

I was told by a liberal "friend" of mine, that requiring a deadbeat......, I mean welfare recipient to take a urine test was unconstitutional ! I will tell my employer that the next time they point me to the Pee samplers, we will see how that goes.

John, I believe that trip just "done you in". You have lost your mind, pure insanity!  

I love it!

Now that you are retired you should start writing for a living. Seriously, try your hand at writing an article here and there and send them to the local papers, magazines, etc. You can make some extra money to pay for more bike trips.

God bless,

José

jdemoya wrote:

---

John, I believe that trip just "done you in". You have lost your mind, pure insanity!  

I love it!

Now that you are retired you should start writing for a living. Seriously, try your hand at writing an article here and there and send them to the local papers, magazines, etc. You can make some extra money to pay for more bike trips.

God bless,

José

---

 Jose' you're either retired, or you work......I don't mind watching work, but I don't want to get it on me.

I WANT A DIVORCE!

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.


--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.


--We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood


--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.



--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.


--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.


--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."



--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

--We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Oh, and leave the keys on the counter when you leave

Dang it John! The Founding Fathers could not have done any better deal than that. I don't think there should be a problem with the land division: we keep the middle of the country and they can have the two coasts. I, we will not have to move at all.

That will work.

God bless,

José

In 1272, the Arabic Islamic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873, the British somewhat refined the idea by actually taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Don't thank me, I do this as a public service for the advancement of Education.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sittingaround waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at nightwhile they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement...

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some note worthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: