Lessons from the back porch - Indiana Traditional Bowhunters Association

jdemoya · Guru

RE: Lessons from the back porch

randy grider · Guru

john nail wrote:

This is for you champion spellers:

I just started my own business, making landmines that look like Islamic prayer mats. It is going very well. The Prophets are going through the roof.

-- Edited by john nail on Friday 27th of August 2010 12:25:40 PM

Hillarious Dude, Frickin' Hillarious!!!! biggrin

john nail · Guru

Fla. Deputies: One-Legged Man Escapes on Foot...................

folks, you can't make this stuff up.

-- Edited by john nail on Thursday 16th of September 2010 06:49:58 PM

john nail · Guru

American Lindsey Vonn has to Forfeit her Gold Medal
The International Olympic Committee announced
Today that it has taken back the gold medal
Previously awarded to American skier Lindsey
Vonn and given it to U.S. President Barack Obama.
Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal
More than Vonn because no one has ever gone
Downhill faster than he has.

john nail · Guru

well, I deleted my post. probably not politically correct

-- Edited by john nail on Sunday 26th of September 2010 08:45:16 PM

john nail · Guru

Hoosiers:
Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & biscuits, and homemade pie. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at Bob's bait shop.

hillbillyking · Guru

Yep alota southern hoosier men fought on the Confederate side in the War Of Northern Agression !!!! FACT evileye

Good ol Boys They were ! blankstare

john nail · Guru

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. .

And those who don't and are always

seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:

In wine there is wisdom,

In beer there is freedom,

In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,

Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink

1 litre of water each day,

At the end of the year we would have absorbed

More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria

Found in feces.

In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However,

We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer

(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)

Because alcohol has to go through a purification process

Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop,

Wine = Health .

Therefore, it's better to drink

wine and talk stupid,

Than to drink water and be

full of s#*%.

flinttim · Guru

In honor of this piece of prose I plan to uncork a bottle of red wine. Thanks John for the excuse.

-- Edited by flinttim on Tuesday 5th of October 2010 09:37:45 PM

john nail · Guru

flinttim wrote:
In honor of this piece of prose I plan to uncork a bottle of red wine. Thanks John for the excuse.

-- Edited by flinttim on Tuesday 5th of October 2010 09:37:45 PM

Go ahead Tim, You'll probably live longer

SDH · Senior Member

I am not much of a wine drinker but I always buy some (at a highly inflated price) at our family reunion auction each year to help support the cost. Now I feel better knowing I am actually investing in my health.

A toast to................OUR HEALTH!

jdemoya · Guru

I will drink to that biggrin

God bless,

Jose

bambi · Guru

I did an experiment.

When I was much younger there was an old carpenter down the alley from my parents. He always had a jug of concord wine in his shop. Every once in a while me and my dad would go down there to have the saws sharpened. I always got to have about a teaspoon taste. wink

We had a grape arbor in our yard that had some of the sweetest grapes I've ever had. I used to eat them by the bunches, and I'd spit the seeds and skins out for the chickens. We used to make a lot of juice and jelly. YUM smile

There was an old warehouse on the next block over and the owners grandson was in our gang. Not like crips and bloods, more like Spanky. Anyway the old black men that were the workers always had a big jug of homemade wine hidden in there somewhere. We could always find it. biggrin

Now days wine is supposed to taste like crap. Fruitty body with hints of leather and coco. bleh

I made some wine this summer. I bought three gallons of Welches at Sams club cheap. I added a can of concentrated frozen concord. Sugar and yeast was all the rest I added. It's too early to tell just how good it's gonna be, but you can taste grape and it burns all the way down biggrin

Fourteen bottles for eighteen dollars wink

hillbillyking · Guru

$18.00 Boone Farm not much Higher is it ?

john nail · Guru

hillbillyking wrote:
$18.00 Boone Farm not much Higher is it ?

Where is Boone's farm anyway? I figure those guys are layin' around drunk, a guy might hunt it.

flinttim · Guru

Actually , Boone's Farm is not a wine but a malt. But who cares. I drank my share of it in the day.

hillbillyking · Guru

i thought it was ebalming fluid !

catfishon · Guru

Wise Words

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. Harold Schlumberg is such a person:

QUOTE FROM HAROLD

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?' Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whisky into urine. I do it every day and I really enjoy it.

Harold should be an inspiration to us all.

flingshot · Guru

Dern.... I may have just been converted to the weaker spirits after the whole POOP revelation.

john nail · Guru

Just imagine...

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today!

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you damned proud to be an American!!!

jdemoya · Guru

John, you are killing me! biggrin

No kidding... I am here in Celebration, your old neighborhood, in the Public Library and LMAO in silence because I can't make any noise. Too funny

Keep them coming.

God bless,

Jose

hillbillyking · Guru

He must have an extra Large herd of Brain cells biggrin

His buffalo are not all dead yet!

hillbillyking · Guru

hillbillyking · Guru

Here's what i see from back porch Target house !!! And I need Lessons ! But as you can see from these Quarter away shots a Blind Monkey finds a Nanner ever Once n A While !!!!

-- Edited by hillbillyking on Wednesday 13th of October 2010 11:47:11 AM

-- Edited by hillbillyking on Wednesday 13th of October 2010 11:51:47 AM

john nail · Guru

Dennis will gladly give you lessons for the 'Nanners. Probably do it for the blind Monkey!

hillbillyking · Guru

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-- Edited by hillbillyking on Wednesday 13th of October 2010 10:41:32 PM

john nail · Guru

Math Lesson:

Women= Time x Money
Time=Money
Therefore
Women = money x money or (money)2
Money is the root of all evil, so
Money = square root of Evil
so it follows that

Women=Evil

john nail · Guru

"Nail's Anomaly" I love 'em anyway!

SDH · Senior Member

Thus the phrase.................."necessary evil".

john nail · Guru

from a friend of mine:

Fifty Years of Math 1959 - 2009 (in the USA )

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $ 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In 2009

Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

-- Edited by john nail on Tuesday 9th of November 2010 06:47:39 AM