John, that might be good sport for them rubber blunts. Especially if you only went for them on the wing.

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the hole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit ntil you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us ore than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.


Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hugry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet..

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.


These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

Ame ! I mean "What does an old fart have to lose?" Our best years are behind us, may as well take down the slugs on our way out. 

u drikin that clear beady liquid outa that mason jar!!

 Not a Thing just pass it a roun

damn john, im sure glad squirrel season will be here soon for you sake.
i think your cracking UP !!!! LMAO

hillbillyking wrote:

---

YEP heza Deep thinker aint he almost likea homer or newton mabye einstien or his buffalos have thinned out enuff LOL LMAO

---

"Tonto Einstein" to the Ladies...

I'd come up with a repliy if i could think of anything UP lifting to say. Maybe I am not UP to the task. If I were more of an UPWARDLY thinking person I might be able to come UP with something more clever. However, UPON reflection I can't recall a time when I was more put UPON to come UP with something about the word UP. I guess I should put UP or SHUT UP. So I will zip it UP for now. WOW John what a subject hope you havn't started an UPHEAVAL of controversy about the word UP.

You guys are really UP to the task: You are killing me! 

Good thing I am all by my lonesome here, no one to tell me to shut UP.
I am laughing so hard...

God bless,

José

Journey of a man

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big breasts.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big breasts, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for
life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big breasts.

Beware John, a girl you're age with big breasts will most likely have big everything, you'll get tired of that too.

Go easy on you're self, get a dog........, like Dennis did.

A definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer:
Princess
Diana's
death.

Question:
How come?

Answer :

An
English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriendcrashes
in a French tunnel,
riding in a German
car with a
Dutch engine, driven
by a Belgian who was
drunkon
Scottish whisky,(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),followed
closely byItalian
Paparazzi,on
Japanese motorcycles, treated
by an American doctor,
using Brazilian
medicines.This is
sent to you ,usingAmerican
Bill Gates' technology, and
you're probably reading
this on your computer, that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean
monitor, assembled
by Bangladeshi
workers in a
Singapore plant, transported
by Indian truck drivers, hijacked
by Indonesians, unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends,
is Globalization !

Me too!

Dang! That was a mouthfull...

All I have to say is that hunting season'd better start soon.

God bless,

José

This is for you champion spellers:


I just started my own business, making landmines that look like Islamic prayer mats. It is going very well. The Prophets are going through the roof.

-- Edited by john nail on Friday 27th of August 2010 12:25:40 PM